A week or so ago it came to me that perhaps the feelings of the spouse or partner of one who goes away for a time--such as a six-month hike of the Appalachian Trail--go through various stages much like the stages of grief. As Jim was leaving and the week or so afterwards I think I was very stressed with the many things to do and my ambivalence about him leaving. I also realized that I was somewhat numb. While I could see his excitement, I also felt angry that he was leaving for this period of time, with many, many things hanging for me to do or complete. I felt scared. Then for about a week, I felt mostly sadness. So many things seemed to trigger this. As I kept up my "journey" here, I moved into more peace and acceptance (getting the dog fence working again, after about two and a half weeks of on-going problem-solving, was a major boost!) I bring myself back to the moment and living THIS DAY in a way that honors God, myself, and all the people with which I am involved. This is a part of my spiritual journey, and I choose to embrace is with acceptance and with honoring all that comes up. It is Saturday, and I turn over and embrace the possibility of this day. From breakfast, reading, prayer, and writing....to a long walk.
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The varying feelings of the partner at home...
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Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
Your range of feelings make a lot of sense to me, and I am very grateful for your hanging in with me on this journey despite the added responsibilities that have fallen on you. Yesterday, I was listening to Sharon Salzberg's Mindfulness Meditation and was sending you meta.
Re: Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
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Angela
on Fri 02 May 2008 09:05 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Hi Jim,
How wonderful - we are excited for your journey. Charlie and I plan to do the AT when Onna goes to college. He completed it in 1997, trail name, Bearbones. He left 4/17 and finished 11/01 - he'll tell you more about it. Congratulations and enjoy. With love and support, Angela Re: Re: Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
Hi Angela,
Great to hear from you! Charlie must have been southbound given the dates of his hike in '97. I expect the two of you will have a great experience when you hike the AT together. I had hoped that Libba would come with me on this journey, but she said that while she realized it has been my dream since age 13 when I first hiked in the Smokies, it has not been her dream. Now she is left with the day-to-day tasks of work and home and sometimes finding my absence to be a significant drag. I really feel sad that she is having to deal with all that she is while I'm out here on the trail. I continue to rejoice that Onna has made a complete recovery! Hallelujah! Until we meet again, may you and yours be safe, healthy, happy, and peaceful. Peace and Love, Jim Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
by
wellswt
on Tue 29 Apr 2008 08:48 AM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Dear Jim and Libba,
This is a great blog. Thanks for sharing your experiences, thoughts and feelings with us. Today must be quite a bit cooler in the mountains after the rain. This is a particularly beautiful spring -- I am sure you must be awed by all of the natural beauty in either the mountains or your lovely woods at home. Sally and I are looking forward to seeing you, Jim, on May 17. Love, Bill Re: Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
Hi Bill,
Great to hear from you! I'll try to phone you later today if I have reception. The natural beauty is, indeed, absolutely spectacular for me. I stop a lot to take pictures. We had snow yesterday morning; but by the time I left Groundhog Shelter, the day was clear but cool. Max Patch was a sight to behold. After crossing the bald, I felt the intuition to keep hiking beyond my previously decided upon destination. I hiked into the night using my head light and had completed over 26 miles when I arrived in Hot Springs at 4:30 this morning. I hung out for a little while in the post office where it was warm, and then was allowed to sit in a diner 30 minutes before they opened at 6:00. They told me to help myself to coffee, and my breakfast was served a little before six. Hiking at night is quite an adventure, but it's not one I plan to repeat unless I cannot avoid it for some reason. I look forward to seeing you and Sally soon. Please give her my love. Love, Jim Re: Re: Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
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KrishaSong
on Thu 01 May 2008 09:19 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
I went to Max Patch quite often growing up. I remember playing in the snow in Mid-May. What a lovely spot.
Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
I was reading up on all the postings and trying to reach out to Jim and to you. I certainly can hear and see what you are going through. Wonder if partners (wives) of sailors off on a six month cruise feel similar things. My heart is with you.
In my attempt to get closer to Jim I turned to Google Earth and downloaded the entire tracks of all the shelters along the AT. I imagine I can reach out to him at each shelter. I downloaded your spreadsheet of his schedule and will look at it. What a wonderful journey in life for both of you. You, my friend Libba, are easier. I can just pick up a phone. Hope to hear your voice on next Monday's PP. Al Re: Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
Hi Al!
How delightful for me that you downloaded all the shelter locations. I left Groundhog Shelter about noon yesterday after talking with Libba by cell phone. I got into Hot Springs, NC, this morning at 4:30. I may stay here until Friday morning, but I haven't decided as yet. I sure hope all is going well for you. I was suggesting to someone two days ago that they check out turtlecounseling.com. It doesn't look like I'll be able to upload new pictures today, but hopefully I can do that from a computer at the library tomorrow. It is apparently closed on Wednesdays. I have found the wildflowers to be just wonderful. The biggest problem with hiking after dark is not being able to see the flowers, though the darkness has it's own special kind of beauty. Fortunately, I didn't encounter any bears during the night. Have actually seen only one, and that was about a week ago at the beginning of the Smokies. I'll post those pictures soon. Thanks for your support of Libba. Please give my warmest regards to all the members of the Peace Project. Peace and Love, Jim Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
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jane harrison
on Sun 04 May 2008 05:12 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Hello out there. I enjoyed seeing Libba yesterday and learning about your trip so far; sounds like you are doing fine, and I am glad. We have certainly been thinking of both of you often. Thanks so much for your card I received it just before Merlefest - which was wonderful again this year. We missed you cousins. I've enjoyed your pictures Jim, and will look forward to seeing more. Happy trails, and love, jane
Re: Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
Hi Jane,
It is good to hear from you! I'm glad to hear that Merlefest was great again this year. I'm sorry to have missed seeing you. Hiking the AT is going well, though I miss Libba and the comforts of home. Today I'm in Ervin, TN, for a shower and a good night's sleep before pressing on tomorrow. The flowers along the AT have been beautiful. I know you could turn some of my photos into incredible paintings. Libba said that she enjoyed so much getting together with you, Meredith, English, Adam, and Kate. I hope we can all get together after my hike has been completed. Peace and Love, Jim Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
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Virginia
on Mon 05 May 2008 04:49 PM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Liba, I was very fortunate to meet Jim at Hot Springs, NC. I thought I'd ease your mind and let you know that he looked happy and healthy! I was trying to attach some pictures of him so you can see for yourself but I'm not sure I know how... I met Jim and the rest of the AT hikers when my group set up camp next to them. It was such a treat to meet each person and hear about his/her journey. Jim said wonderful things about you and your amazing patience thoughout this processes.
Jim, you made a huge impression on the group of us! We talked about you the rest of the trip as if you were a lifelong friend to each of us. I don't know that I can actually put into words the impact you've made on me but I know that it's been profound. I feel blessed to have met you and I feel that I'm a better person having been given the opportunity to see life through your eyes. I was awake when you packed up and left camp Saturday morning. I noticed you walking away through the trees and I felt a pange of sadness. Anna told me that she missed our new friends... I hope we will all cross paths again! Please give my best to Freckles, Sprite, Wavepool, Spring Loaded and Papa Sarge if you see them again. Tell them AAA, Keys, Tickets, False Alarm and Spreadsheet say hello! Take care of yourself! Sincerely, Virginia from Hot Springs Re: Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
Spreadsheet!
Great to see your post on the blog! I really enjoyed meeting you, Anna, and all your group. You were all so welcoming and provided incredible hospitality to your new hiker friends. Talking with you all was the highlight of my experience of the music festival. From my perspective, the music was okay; but you guys were great! I also hope that our paths will cross again. Warmly, Jim (Elgixin) Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
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Susan Puckett
on Tue 06 May 2008 10:35 AM EDT | Profile | Permanent Link
Hi Jim and Libba!
I am so happy to have received this blog info and now can now see pictures and keep up with the journey....blessings to you as you face your separate challenges! Love, Susan Wells Puckett Re: Re: The varying feelings of the partner at home...
Hi Susan,
Thanks for joining the blog. I apprciate your encouragement and look forward to sharing with you more about this incredible journey as it continues to unfold. At the moment I am in Ervin, TN, where I can wash clothes, wash myself, and get extra sleep before pressing on tomorrow. I got into the shelters after dark the last two nights. Being on the trail after dark is not really fun, so I hope to limit the number of times that happens in the future. I tend to be a little slow getting started in the mornings and then have walked 15 or 16 miles. I know now that if I'm going to walk that far, I have to get out in the mornings by 8:00. This morning I walked down to Sam's Gap from Hogback Shelter and decided to take a fellow from Georgia up on his offer to give me a lift into Ervin. Tommy (Slow) said he had been hiking with his brother Bob (Steady) who loves to hike, but that he has had enough. He said the scenery never changes and that he misses home too much to keep walking. He said that just as much as his brother loves hiking, he has learned that he hates it. He and I had a good discussion about spiritual matters and wished each other God's speed as we parted. I hope all is going well for you. Love, Jim Trackbacks
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